Content to Change

First off, I thought this blog was going to be about recording my crafty endeavors, but as I've been thinking about what I want to put on here, I keep dwelling on spiritual stuff, so I'm going to try this first to get it off my chest. Contentment is one of the virtues (not sure if it's actually a virtue) that I value most. Probably because I'm pretty good at it most of the time. But I also realize that I should not be complacent. I've had a paradigm shift in the past couple years about the meaning of and purpose of my life. I am now fully convinced that while I'm here on earth God wants to change and refine me. Warning...I'm about to go deep and realize I may be viewed as a wacko by some, which is fine. I'm just going to lay it all out there, in an attempt to become less fearful about saying what I really believe. In some ways it's easier to type then say aloud, however in other ways it's super scary to have it written down without the chance to answer questions or explain unclear things, and I can't take it back or rely on someone's bad memory about what I said...sorry, I'm digressing. So I believe God wants to change me, and I believe He cares about every little thing that happens to me and that He speaks to me in various ways. I have no idea how He does this for me and anyone else who cares to pay attention to Him, except to say that he is all-powerful. I also cannot comprehend why he would care so much about me or anyone else, although being a parent has shown me a tiny glimpse of what He might feel for me. What I do know, is that it is up to me to try to hear His voice and choose to become what He wants me to. I love studying the Bible. It is a truly amazing book. I used to think that back in the day God spoke to people, they wrote it down, and that doesn't happen anymore. But now I realize that there were some very faithful people that actually paid attention to and wrote down what God was saying. I am trying to write down what I hear from Him too, so I'll have my own bible of sorts. It can be really hard to hear in this world. How does God speak to me? Sometimes it's a nagging thought in my head, other times a fleeting one. Sometimes I'm just watching creation, or thinking and things start to make sense, answers to questions are clear and obvious. One thing that is for sure, to hear Him, I have to make myself quiet. This can be really hard to do. I'm just learning how to tune in to His voice and hope to become better at it. One thing I have experienced is that he is very faithful to affirm me. When I think I've heard His voice and try to pursue it I'll often get confirmation in the form of "coincidences" or things falling into place. So while I'm very content with my little life (I've got sooo much to be thankful for) I also realize I've got a long way to go to have the best life has to offer- that is being in the perfect center of God's will for me. I'm content to change.